Breast Cancer Advice Center

After I became ill with breast cancer and leaving my job of twenty years my marriage is over, what do I do?

My husband is an alcoholic but has a good job and makes lots of money. I had a good job but had to retire because of my illness. I only get a tiny pension that will not nearly pay our bills. My husband hates me and has now for a long time, I think that he resents the fact that I can't work and do the things that I used to. I can't say that I like him very much either for all that he has put me through with his verbal abuse while drunk. My problem is I have no savings and cannot pay the bills, I don't want to loose my home and all that I have worked for. You see when he leaves he won't care and I already don't get any money from him and mine is running out. Why does he think he can leave me penniless and let me loose everything. I am to be back in the hospital soon and I think that is when he will clean me out and walk away. what should I do?

Public Comments

1. Try counseling first. At the same time seek legal counsel. You hope that you won't need it, but it is better to know your rights before a battle. A marriage fallen is horrible. It takes both of you. It's not 50/50 in that sense. Don't give up hope. No matter what. Married or not. Don't give up hope.
2. he thinks he can do that because he hates you, so its justafiable
   you would do the same thing given the chance and hating him like you say, its what happens to people who hate each other
3. Oh, man. I don't even know what to tell you. I would suggest counseling, but it sounds like your marriage may be past that point. If you have even a shred of hope that it isn't hopeless, see if you can convince him to get couples counseling to start to fix your problems. His insurance might even pay for it.
   
   If you do get a divorce, the state can help you make him pay. It might be very difficult for you without him, but the emotional freedom you will feel could have many positive effects on your life and health. I know that getting a divorce won't be painless, emotionally or physically (have you seen those "Where does depression hurt?" commercials?), but you must focus on the long-term benefits.
   
   You will be in my prayers.
4. I don't know what state you live in but in mine you could divorce him and get alimony and make him pay your legal fees plus carry medical insurance on you if not help out with your medical bills. I say divorce him and take him for all you can get!
5. Contact an attorney regarding your options.
6. Leave his sorry butt behind and seek you a lawyer. I am pretty sure you can get alimony to help you with your finances.