Breast Cancer Advice Center

Mom died of breast cancer one week after I found I was pregnant. Really hard. Anyone else live through this?

Mom had inflammatory breast cancer diagnosed October 24th. She was already in a medicine indused coma by the Sunday I took the test. She was sent home from the hospital that Wed. and died the following Friday. This is my second child and she was so close with my 4 year old. I never got to tell her I was pregnant because, even if she had understood, it would have only made it that much harder for her to die. I'm really hurting and would be so grateful if someone had lived through something similar could answer. Mom was 52. I am 25.

Public Comments

1. I can sympathize with you. I think you did a good thing by not telling her about your pregnancy as it would have made her heart filled with grief. Just make sure you and your children (if they are girls), to go regularly for tests as now, as much as it is, you guys are at risk of this deadly disease. I will include you guys in my prayers.
2. no,but I am so very sorry for your loss...
   don't worry,you will see her again soon,she is just
   sleeping right now.
3. My sister passed away at the age of 22. We were extremly close (13 mo. apart) I was 8 months pregnant with my youngest daughter. Although the stress was enough to send me into premature labor, the doctors were able to stop it with medication. The important thing is to remember that you have to take care of yourself for your baby. Prayer helps and remember that your mother would want you and your baby to be healthy. I'll keep you in my prayers. God Bless.
4. I am 23 , my mom died a little over a year ago. We were always worried it would be breast cancer ( 5 of her sisters had it, two died of it), but it wasnt. She started having trouble breathing and went to the emergency room , they admitted her and said that her valves on her heart werent pumping correctly, they scheduled surgery. They operated even though her blood pressure was way up and she had a stroke during the operation. I have two toddlers whom she was really close too and it is sad. We had been living next door to her since they had been born, we had just moved away about two weeks earlier. She was only 51, it was and is very hard. I see my babies growing up and know that she would have loved to see it too and I think about having more kids, and I know that it will be sad that she is not there this time.
5. I lost my grandfather the month I found out I was pregnant. I did get to tell him, but at that point he had dementia and didnt really understand much, so I can relate. I was very close with both my grandparents because I lived with them when I was small. I am not sure if you already have had your baby or have a name picked out, but what I did was honored my grandparents with my daughter's name. My grandfather's name was Robert and my grandmother's name was Lee. So, I was going to use their name as the middle name to my child depending on the sex of the baby. My daughter is named Savannah Lee after my grandmother. Perhaps you could honor your mother in a similar way...also, I brought a picture of my grandmother with me in the delivery room, so she would be with me when Savannah Lee was born. It helped me feel closer to my her. I am so sorry for you loss...losing someone you love is so difficult. I like to believe that maybe they can see what is going on from the other side and that they are around us always, even though they are no longer here in the flesh...
6. I was in a kinda situation. My great-grandfather died April 13, 2003 (which is my Father's b-day), and my sister was born like a little less then a month later.. May 6th, 2003. He knew about her, and he was looking forward to meeting her. Everyday he was in the hospital and he'd ask my step-mother how my step-mom was doing, and how much he couldn't wait to meet the baby. I wish my great-grandfather could have met her becuz now she is like the only one who didn't meet him out of us 3 kids.. and he was just a great man, I was VERY close 2 him. I keep mentioning his name 2 her, and telling things about him to her, and I will keep on doing that. I dont tell her 2 much cuz she is just 3. Sometimes she sees me crying.. I cry like everyday cuz of his loss which was 3 yrs. ago, and she says to me "Ashley you sad" and thats when I tell her things about him. I have many pictures of him and I show those to her now..
7. First off I would like to say that I am very sorry for your loss. My mom is my best friend so I cannot imagine how I would deal with that. When I was 9 months pregnant with my son my grandfather died. He already had 4 great-granddaughters but my son was going to be the first boy. He was so excited. Then all the sudden he had a heart attack, 2 days later a stroke and died 2 days after that. They wouldn't let me see him in the ICU b/c I was so distraught they were scared I would go into labor. My son was born 24 days after he passed away. I drove to a different city to have my baby b/c I couldn't stand being on the same floor that he passed away on in the same hospital. I was very close to him, there was only 17 days of my whole 19 years of life that I did not see him. It was so difficult for me then on top of that I was pregnant. He passed away 3 years ago on the 3rd of Aug and it still feels as though it was just yesterday. Again I am sorry for your loss and just remember she is looking down on you. She already knows what you are having. She is with you just remember that. It is the only thing that kept me going.
8. my mother didnt die but my granny did and i thought it was the end of the world i was like three months along be careful i stopped eating or sleeping got depressed and lost a lot of weight and didnt take care of myself i went into labor two months ealier thank god that my little one is safe now. it was hard but i knew that when the baby was here that it would help heal the pain of my granny being gone. they say that for every person dying there is another one being born i think of it as gods gift that i have my little one because i lost my granny and i got another blessing/
9. well, no. I have a mother figure that just passed away with cancer. It's really hard. It would be even harder if it was my real mom because she is my best friend. I just had my first child, a daughter. She was in the hospital doing well. the day I was discharged she was not doing well so we told her we would bring the baby up that Friday to see her. she was very excited. We were getting oour daughter ready to go when we got the call. I cried and cried for hours because she didn't get to see my little girl. On the good side of things she can see her now as your mom can see you and yours. She knows you are expecting and she will be able to see the new baby and watch over all of you. It is very painful to deal with the loss of someone that close to you. It will be okay and I know it's hard to think so because of your hormones but she is in a better place and she is happy. My real mother is having surgery tommorrow on her neck. I know she will be fine but I can't always help but wonder. Just enjoy this pregnancy because your mom will see you grow every step of the way. Congratulations on the baby and I am so sorry about your mother. My condolences to you and your family.
10. Sweetie, I know exactly how you feel. I am so sorry for your loss.
    Just before I fell pregnant with my first son, my father had an accident at work and was brain damaged.
    The day before my son was born my father had a massive heart attach. The day I gave birth to my son. My father was having a heart operation, he died on the operating table and never knew what I had.
    I was very bitter for many years, Also I reject my son for a while before I could accept the things that had happened. That indeed was the hardest thing in my life.
    When my second son was born, my first son got very ill with Meningitis. I nearly lost him as well.
    I am now 45 years old, I have got breast cancer. I am trying to stay positive, but it is very hard.
    
    Good Luck
11. Im sorry to hear that.But please dont be upset.thats life.atleast be happy she is with god and soon will be coming back in the form of your baby.
12. First of all no but I am veary sorry but my mom's aunt had breast cancer and then died and my mom was 8 months pregnet with me at the time she died I don't know how it feels but my mom "had" a similar problem and she was depressed big time.......